


after it's fashion

by oakleaf_bearer



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: It/Its Pronouns for The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Temporary Character Death, The Mechanisms-Typical Violence, gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser, the draft title of this was 'the toy soldier is fucking weird'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29823156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleaf_bearer/pseuds/oakleaf_bearer
Summary: "So, the Toy Soldier..." Bertie began."Yeah?" Jonny looked at him. "What about it?""What does it... do?"Jonny shrugged. "No idea. It just showed up one day."-the toy soldier is weird and i cannot stop listening to gptvsmk, so this happened
Comments: 6
Kudos: 69





	after it's fashion

**Author's Note:**

> ty to jimmy for beta reading this for me <3

Tim had been sat watching the new recruits file in for a little while, legs dangling off the edge of the ammunition crates that he and Bertie had perched on to keep their feet out of the mud; Bertie had elbowed him, jerking his chin towards two of the newbies. 

One of them was a man. He was carrying his gun with an easy familiarity, a vicious grin on his face. His uniform was already scruffy with his shirt slightly unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

The man stretched his arms up high, inhaling deeply through his nose. "Smell that, TS?"

"No!" His companion chirped. 

"That's the smell of gunpowder and violence. My favourite combination."

"Last Week You Said Your Favourite Combination Was Whiskey And Smoke!"

He scowled. "A man can have more than one favourite. It's called having range."

His companion shrugged, more a mimicry of the motion than the actual gesture, all jerky stiffness and mechanical clicks rather than the fluidity of muscles. 

"Alright, don't be like that."

"Like What?"

"You're pulling a face."

"I Assure You I Am Not!" 

Bertie elbowed Tim again. "Go on." 

"What?" 

"Go say hi."

"No, you do it."

"Tim, go." Bertie gave him a look. 

Tim rolled his eyes and hopped off the box, stomping through the drying mud towards where they were standing, grumbling under his breath about not getting attached to new people who were just going to die anyway. Bertie trailed along behind him, chuckling at Tim's annoyance. 

At their approach, the man turned and gave them both appraising looks, one eyebrow raised. 

"Hey." Tim nodded at them. "I'm Tim, this is Bertie." Bertie waved. "You pair have names?"

"Jonny D'Ville." The man said with a flourish. "This is the Toy Soldier." 

"Hello!" It rocked on its heels, hands clasped behind its back. 

"Uh, hi." 

Up close, the Toy Soldier was much more uncanny. Distance had hidden much of its more unusual aspects. It's face was shiny polished wood with painted-on features, including a large twirling moustache. It stood rigidly at attention, it's back almost painfully straight as it stared at Tim with unblinking eyes.

"You got all your equipment?" Bertie asked, holding a hand to take any bags they might need carrying. 

The Toy Soldier bent down and picked up their packs. "Right Here!" 

"We've got a bit of a camp set up back there if you want to join." Bertie said, ignoring Tim's glare. The camp was their space away from the rest of the soldiers. Their small kingdom to forget about the war for a little while. 

Jonny was already waving a hand at Bertie to lead the way, so Tim just rolled his eyes and followed, grumbling about Bertie's overly friendly attitude. 

Bertie led their group over to the quieter corner of the campsite, where he and Tim had thrown down their bedrolls. Quaint was probably the best word for their little space. It had a couple of ammunition boxes shoved to one side for a bit of privacy from the rest of the camp. There were still the embers of a pitiful fire they'd lit in an attempt to stay warm.

Jonny dropped down into the dirt, heaving a sigh. "So when do we get to have a go at the Kaiser's lot?" 

"Probably not for a while." Tim replied.

Jonny's nose scrunched up, annoyed. "Damn, I was looking forward to some good violence." 

Tim shot Bertie a look that he pointedly ignored. It wouldn’t do for the new recruits to be too wanton, they’d just end up getting themselves killed faster.

Bertie sat down on one of the ammo boxes and gestured to the space. "Make yourselves at home." 

"I Shall Set Up My Bed Roll!" Before Tim could ask if it actually needed to sleep, it wandered off, somehow whistling a cheery tune. Bertie watched it go with an eyebrow raised. 

"So, the Toy Soldier..." Bertie began. 

"Yeah?" Jonny looked at him. "What about it?" 

"What does it... do?"

Jonny shrugged. "No idea. It just showed up one day." 

"High command didn't give it to you?" Tim perched on the edge of the box Bertie was sat on. 

"High command?" Jonny frowned. "The fuck's that?" 

"The people giving us our orders." Bertie said, eyebrows inching closer to his hairline. 

"Oh right. Nah, TS came with me." 

"Huh." Up to then, Tim had assumed that the Toy Soldier was a prototype weapon or the test run of a new type of soldier. "They just let you bring it?" 

"Well, it enlisted. From the looks of it, your lot needs all the help you can get, I guess your 'high command' didn't feel too fussy about who signed up."

"It.....enlisted?" 

"Well it wasn't going to just show up, there's a process to this stuff." 

"But," Berties frown deepened. "Why?" 

"Oi!" Jonny called out. The TS turned. "This lot wants to know why you enlisted." 

"It Seemed Like Fun!" 

Jonny waved a hand at it. "It has a point." 

"Does it?" Tim asked. 

"Yeah," Jonny "This little war won't be on long. It'll blow over in a couple of years, hopefully end messily, and we'll be off again. Just a way of passing the time. You lot take life so seriously, it's not that big of a deal. Have a little bit of fun." 

Tim didn't have the heart to tell him that no one went home from conflict like this. Not really. With any luck they'd trudge back to London in a couple of years, battered and bloody and reeking of moon dust, only for the Queen to call the people at the top heroes for doing nothing and forget about the ones who did all the fighting. 

"Besides," Jonny continued, "Nastya bet I'd get bored before the end of the year and I intend to prove her wrong." 

Tim stared at him, feeling that this was going to be a very strange war.

**Author's Note:**

> listen, its weird af and i love that for it 
> 
> come find me [on tumblr,](https://oakleaf--bearer.tumblr.com/)[on twitter,](https://twitter.com/oakleaf_bearer) or[on insta](https://www.instagram.com/statement_boo_gins/)  
> i take prompts, dms, and asks on all of them!
> 
> title is from gunpowder tim vs the moon kasier


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